A letter to my Sister in Heaven

I cannot believe that it has been a year since I spoke with you on the phone and you told me that you are not feeling well. Yes, it sure has been a year since the last time your adorable kids would rush to the dining table at the beckon of your coaxing voice and the aroma of your well prepared delicious meals. It’s been twelve months today since your doting husband last heard you affectionately hail him “NZE 1.” What about mama? Do you know that she once told me that she misses your sweet musical laughter and your favorite pastime of simultaneously changing the ringing tone cell and hers? I bet you also miss doing that. As for us, my Dear, the last time we were together we all recalled with love how you made each of us call you “Ash Born.” Such memories bring us much joy and happiness and is always fresh on our minds. How could we forget the love that emanated from you to everyone you encountered?  Since your journey last year, even the Abakaliki branch of the Honorable lady knights of St. John still remember and talk about the energy your brought to the group especially when you led them group in group parades. No I did not forget your job at the local government. Some of your former colleagues still talk about how much joy you brought and how your absence has left them dumbfounded.

On the other hand, my unwavering faith in God makes me believe that it’s been an entire year since you made yourself at home with God, the Cherubim and Seraphim. Knowing you, I imagine that you have also made friends, lots of them among the angles and heavenly beings. I hope you have learned a lot and is still learning everything you can in your new home. You were a good observer; I trust that you are learning as much as can so that your transition will continue to be easy and smooth. You must have also observed that heaven is orderly that the way things are over there. That being so, is it right to assume that you are no longer as carefree as you use to be? Yes, you may have a new heavenly community, but remember not everyone is a stranger to you right? Have you seen dad? Yes, I know you and him never met before he started on his journey, but remember that you are now is a place where there are no shrouds, a place of eternal reunion. You also have Bonny your adorable son and other friends and relations.

Thank you for remaining in touch, and for reminding us that a family once formed, cannot be   unbroken by tears, pain, suffering or death. But most importantly, thank you Eyi for reminding us to celebrate your many gifts, your new life. You will always be dear and we will always love and miss you.

Audieu most Beloved Ash Born.

May you gentle Soul continue to rest in Perfect Peace.

Amen.

A New Type of “Spring” for a Refugee Family

Volunteer Service at the farm with some of our clients 

It is the early hours of Tuesday morning when I slowly steered awake. My eyes quickly sought my beside table for my clock to see what time it is. I shuddered, when I realized that it is time for to get up. “Where did time go?” I wondered. Then I looked out of my window and muttered: “phew! it is raining” I looked beyond the rain to the beautiful sea of green leaves all around. Suddenly an unexpected peace and solitude enveloped me, I felt the presence of the Lord and an urge to listen more attentively to him. Deliberately and slowly, I raised myself to a sitting position on the bed, took a deep breath and gently slid down to the floor, or more precisely made myself comfortable in the prayer space in my room. Soon after I felt more relaxed after taking a few deep breaths and having thanked the Lord for the gift of yet another beautiful day.

I looked and saw that everything God created is indeed very good!

I sat there with no expectations, just a deep longing to be with the Lord. I waited, but not for long. The more I yearned for God’s presence, the more I hear the tack, tush, tack tush whistling sound of the rain. I looked out the window again and told myself that spring must be the most beautiful season of the year. Everything my eyes fell on sparkled with indescribable beauty. Trees, and flower, even the bushes looked happy as they swayed to and fro, as if dancing to a secret tune played by some invisible angelic being.

“But I must pray now!” I said out loud for the third time. I read from Living with Christ lying beside me.  Since it is still Easter season, the readings reminded me that those called by the name of the Lord are made perfect through the power of his resurrection. Our weak and sinful nature may be a curse unto us as a result of sin. But the power of Christ’s resurrection has freed us from that burden and obtained eternal salvation for us.

Bus tour with some of our clients 

The first reading talks also about perseverance in suffering, and about how our “brothers and sisters all over the world” experience all types of suffering. This phrase stayed with me for a long time. I thought about all of God’s children who through no fault of theirs, are experiencing all types of suffering all over the world. I held them in my heart and prayers, especially a newly arrived refugee family of 8 which the agency I work with is resettling.

Before finally making it to the United States, this family lived in a refugee camp somewhere in Africa for over 13 years, waiting, hoping and praying for their springtime. They all have little or no formal education, so could neither understand or communicate in English Language. They have seen/known nothing but violence, wars, guns and killings. Though they will forever carry the scars of their painful past lives, the glow I see on their faces after they go here makes me believe that they have found their spring. Even though some scars are still ongoing, such as their frail looking pregnant mother and her young teenage alcoholic oldest son who has anger problems. I know that God will perfect hat he has started. They may be poor, tired, emotionally and financially saturated, yet I see the buddings of new life because the Lord of Springtime has brought them in this land of the free and the home of the brave. Most importantly, it will be spring henceforth for them because the Lord has promised to perfect the works of his disciples by restoring all to himself. God will restore all their brokenness and I am humbled to have the great opportunity to share his love with them and all his anawims whom we serve daily. As long as we continue to be present, offer our smiles, our prayers and support our clients are sure that their long forgotten springtime has finally returned.  

Why I wear the Veil

Religious life has come a long way. Before Vatican 11 almost every vowed religious sisters in the United States wore habit, the old fashioned uncomfortable common dress of poor women of middle ages. Following Vatican II, and the promulgation of Ecclesiae Sactae by Pope Paul VI in 1966, sisters were permitted to experiment with habit modification according to the needs of the time and place for a period of time, without compromising the purpose, nature and character of their institutes. As times continue to change and new opportunities for ministry continued to open up for sisters, interest in wearing traditional habits waned to the extent that the habit gradually came to be seen as a symbol of oppression and obsolescence. Eventually around the 1980’s, most congregations in the United States discarded the habit altogether.

I know all about this as a former Dominican Sister. I was raised n Nigeria where sisters still dress in habit and as a Dominican sister myself, I wore one anytime I was in public. But when I came to the United States, I noticed that sisters wear ordinary every day clothes. Upon inquiry, I learned that most congregations see their congregational crosses and solemn vows ring as their only visible distinctive form of identification. It was a phenomenal experience for me.

As an apostolic novice, I am discerning the call to commit my life to God in the Congregation of the Sisters of Divine Providence, Melbourne, Ky. Long ago I grappled with the question of sisters’ invisibility in the United States. So, when the issue was raised at a gathering of young sister which I attended last year, I was eager to hear the opinion of other younger/newer members. The discussion bothers on visibility versus non visibility of religious sisters in the Unites States. While majority of those in the group said they are happy and comfortable looking simple and ordinary, a few indicated that they sometimes struggle with being incognito. In other words, they seem to be suggesting that there are times when they wished they could be more visible, without necessarily wearing a habit. At the end of the discussion, we did not really come up with any concrete solutions.

Personally, I do not struggle with being incognito. Perhaps my experience of being a religious sister in Nigerian (a habited culture) and now in formation in the United States (where habit is not the norm) made me recognize the need for a middle space. Some sisters are called to wear habit and others are  not. While these two forms of dressing represent the same authentic reality, I am all for a blend of both forms of dressing. As we well know, dressing distinguishes people. soldiers, sailors, doctors, flight attendants, priests, monks, bishop, altar servers and so on, are all recognized by what they wear. But this does not mean that they have to look that way all the time. Doctors don’t go fishing or golfing with stethoscopes hanging on their necks, neither would priests be comfortable swimming with Roman collars. In the same way, I have no problem with wearing distinctive garbs when occasion calls for it. 

So does this mean that I am advocating for a return to the traditional full habit like it was in the Middle Ages? By no means. However I think a mild modification is ok for our day and time. Thankfully, our CDP constitution makes room for such accommodation. The Constitution of the CDP Congregation states that our CDP cross and ring remain the distinctive sign of our consecration and membership, and that whatever we wear is a sign of consecration and a witness of our simplicity and poverty. At the same time, our constitution also makes provision for sisters who may choose to wear a veil, (and there are a few who do so). Those few sisters dress in simple skirt and blouse with a simple veil. For me, a simple skirt and blouse is also a contemporary attire. Skirt and blouse will certainly not inhibit a sisters ability to walk, drive a car or effectively carry out ministry, which were some of the reasons raised for discarding the veil or habit, among other things. 

I hope that no one opts for religious life just to be recognized. Jesus even warned his disciples against making a pompous show of their good deeds. But at the beginning of his public ministry, Jesus made himself publicly known. In the Gospel, Jesus read from the scroll and afterwards declared that he is fulfilling what he just read. (Luke 4:21) It would have been impossible for Jesus to effectively proclaim his message of salvation without some form of publicity. As a matter of fact, the entire Gospel is the eye witness account of the Jesus’ three years of public ministry. In the same vein, I strongly believe that the same Jesus who remains the same yesterday, today and forever wants to continue to be proclaimed and publicized until his return.

So what is the connection between the call of sisters to make Jesus known and the importance of being recognized as sisters? To begin with there are so few of us today in the United States. Recently I introduced myself to somebody and she said she didn’t know that people still joined religious life today because they are hardly seen. This is the more reason why we should be identifiable. In this day and time when people are going to court to have the crucifix and Christian images removed from public offices, we need to show ourselves as an irreplaceable sign of God’s Presence. We need to be seen by younger adults who are the future of religious life/church as they continue to choose between opposing alternatives in our increasingly secularized society. Yes, we need to let them now that we are still here, they need to not only hear us, but see us as well.  

The 1983 document on Essential Elements in the Church’s Teaching on Religious Life published by the Sacred Congregation for Religious and Secular Institutes stated that the witness of religious life is public. This was affirmed in Canon 669 which echoed the importance of habit for religious women. Furthermore, Vatican II’s Perfectae Caritatis clarified that religious habits could be modified for reasons of health, practicality and effectiveness in ministry (#17).

If you ask me, our call/mission today is public and distinct, just like that of Jesus. No one acts in secret says the gospel of John if he/she wants to be known publicly (John 7:14). For me the veil is not about the individual who wears it, nor is it about their comfort, or popularity. Being visible is mainly about Christ, about religious life, about the Holy Catholic Church, and especially about those seeking a deeper relationship with God. My experience with wearing a white veil has been mostly positive. On occasions, I have been approached, stopped and questioned. I have had the privilege to answer questions, clear doubts, and discuss my Catholic faith with both Christians and non-Christians. Being visible as a sister has given me the opportunity to share how we live the four fundamental virtues of simplicity, poverty, charity and abandonment to Providence. I have prayed and accepted prayer requests from complete strangers because they feel safe sharing their concerns with someone who will not judge or criticize them. People have walked up to me to discuss their pains, and thanked me for just being and for listening without any judgment. So if the veil offers me the opportunity to share the radical love of Christ with those who approach me because I am more visible, then I am more than happy to wear it irrespective of the seeming inconvenience it constitutes.

On the other hand, I have also noticed curious stares directed my way because of the veil. I understand that there are people out there who may be put off by the veil or who may feel too uncomfortable to ask me for prayers, and that is okay. The way I see it, the advantage of touching even a single life each day I go out wearing a simple veil, and being visible, far outweighs all contrary opinions.  

As an individual, I am comfortable with wearing the veil sometimes, because it offers me the opportunity to witness Christ in a unique way. As a sign of consecration to God, the veil serves as a constant reminder that consecrated women belongs to God. The veil is not fashionable, but counter cultural, which is exactly what sisterhood is about. In witnessing to the faith they profess, wearing the veil enhances a sister’s practice of the religious vow of poverty. Those who wear habit spend less time and money thinking about or shopping for what to wear. In this regards, the veil is liberating.

On the other hand, majority of sisters in the United States are old and retired. I think it is unrealistic to expect them to dress otherwise. Consequently, the issue of visibility may only be relevant to younger/newer members as was raised at the Giving Voice Gathering I had refereed to earlier. But in the spirit of communal charity, it will be great for older sisters to recognize and support younger/newer members who wish to wear habit/veil and not continue to insist on polarity of dressing. The mark of our our unity is portrayed our ability to be of one mind and heart not by how the spirit is leading us to dress. In addition, religious Congregations in the United State should recognize that some newer members are from cultures where wearing the veil is still a norm. How would such sisters deal with these duality, when for example they visit home?   

Religious life has survived the era when most sisters dressed in habit and now when majority do not in the United States. Could the future be calling for a blend of the two forms? I would think so, because both forms have their own merits. We need sisters who are recognizable and those who are not to assimilate the needs of everybody. So as we continue to wrestle with the issue of sister’s visibility/invisibility, what is important is to remember that whatever we wear, should be worn with the right intention. Let us continue to persevere in following the good intentions of our hearts and not criticize those who dress differently from us, because our journey into the divine mystery is deeper than a garb. May the radical love of Jesus continue to illumine out hearts as we continue to risk personal transformation for the sake of God and the coming of his kingdom. Amen!

                                 Rosemarie (right) and Emiline, CDP sisters from Madagascar

Still a Resounding “Yes”

I came to the United States confident that I know what is good for me, what I want out of life, what will make me happy. Eager to immerse myself into my new environment, I enthusiastically participated in both academic and non-academic activities. Set to attain my long desired quest for higher learning, I thrust myself into the rhythm of College life because I wanted to excel. However, during my second year of College, I started becoming a little restless, it was like something was missing. At first I tried to dismiss the feeling, telling myself that I was probably too home sick, yet the feeling would not go away.

Back then, Sr. Mary Theresa Bowman CDP was volunteering at the Newman center of Berea college where I attended. As a great friend and mentor, she supported, still supports and encourages me. So I shared my thoughts with her, asking that she offer prayers for me. Gradually, I started feeling drawn to religious life once again and the thought of it always made me happy. As time went on, my discernment moved from prayer to action. I visited our sisters in Melbourne Ky, and again in 2009 for a “come and see” weekend. I decided to attend the event because I wanted to explore all my options. It obviously I found what my heart was seeking. Fast forward 7 years, and I am now in my second year of initial formation. 

It seems like a dream that I am through with my canonical year of Novitiate. So far, it has been an interesting journey of spiritual, social, psychological and communal growth for me. I am grateful that this journey has expanded my faith and broadened by understanding of what it means to be a twenty first century religious woman seeking membership in the United States. My journey has enabled me to have a deeper encounter with God through the spirituality of Blessed Jean Martin Moye and the charism of our foundation. On the whole, the joys and challenges gained this past year continue to strengthen my discernment and keep me grateful for all the people/events through which God has kept me steadfast.

I have experienced community as a place of laughter, celebrations and tears. Always eager to participate in the work of building God’s kingdom by proclaiming his gospel of love and compassion, this past year has enabled me to immerse myself into the rhythm of prayer, service and sharing community with all our amazing sisters and CDP community who daily continue to added value to my life. United in our common call, vision, and purpose, I am humbled to have the privilege to participate in sharing the great call of proclaiming the coming of the kingdom by making it present in and through us. I have learned so much this past year because I have been given everything I need to become a grounded, happy, vibrant future CDP. I am fortunate to be in a place where I have blossomed for God. As a woman of Providence, I continue to accept all from providence; experiences which proved that my trust in Providence is not in vain as well as challenges that help me unite my sufferings with that of Christ. I am at peace with everything because I know that my destiny is in God’s hands. By his grace, I can accept whatever comes as his will and in good faith repose my confidence in him.

While I remain grateful for this journey and hope that it continues, I am also at peace with whatever happens. Just like Fr. Moye said before leaving for China, I am at ease because I am in the hands of God and I have no doubt that Providence does indeed guide and direct everything. May it not be in vain that I seek the face of Providence because my intentions are pure. I hope that my journey continues to be full of adventure, compassion and strengthening of relationship much more than I can ask or imagine. I have made it this far only with the help of God who has kept me faithful through the practice of the evangelical councils, our fundamental virtues of simplicity, poverty, charity and abandonment to providence and my personal spiritual exercises. I am happy and always feel at home with our sisters because my heart is at peace, a tranquil peace that helps me know that I am in the right place. As I begin my Apostolic Novitiate with the Refugee Resettlement program at Ohio Catholic Charities, I urge you to pray that God may continue to help me remain open to his gifts shared and exchanged in this mystical continuum of love.

In Praise of Moye the Great!

Today the Congregation of the sisters of Divine Providence (C.D.P’s) celebrate the birthday of their founder, Blessed John Martin Moye. My reflection centered on Fr. Moye, the great things God accomplished through him and how his spirit subsists in all of us who continue to carry his legacy across the United States, Africa, Asia and Europe.  

Today’s gospel reading talks about the parable of the sower. Through this reading I see how Fr. Moye was without doubt a “rich soil.” He accurately discerned the call of God, prudently executed it and prayerfully overcame the obstacles he encountered. Fr. Moye was touched by the poverty and spiritual hunger of villagers living in Lorraine's countryside where he started in France. He was particularly moved by the lack of educational opportunities for women as well as the absence of faith formation in the region. Under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, he was moved do something about it but he did not stop there, he remained on the move for the rest of his life. Moye further advised the sisters not to get comfortable in any one place because the harvest is rich but the laborers are few. He was criticized a lot and was accused with recklessness for sending young women to live in the isolated hamlets of the countryside at a time when women were not allowed out of the house. One of the reasons I admire our founder a lot is because he had absolute trust in God. He told the sisters not to worry because if what he had started was of God, it will continue and if not, he will be glad to see it die off. Well, it hasn’t died off. CDP’s have been around for more than 350 years now and I am glad to be part of moye's spirituality. The legacy of Fr. Moye is simple this acronym "SPAC" helps to remember how fundamental virtues of simplicity, poverty, abandonment to Providence and Charity.  

a.  Simplicity requires us to be direct in our relations with God, others and ourselves

b. Poverty leads us into the detachment of Jesus in other to be free for mission

c.  Abandonment disposes us to live in this world like pilgrims, totally depending on God

d. Moved by the compassion of Christ, charity compels us to the works of Mercy

Blessed John Martin Moye, Pray for us

The Many Gifts of Providence

Towards the end of October 2015, my younger sister Tina took ill and was rushed to the hospital. From the moment the news of her illness reached me the time she passed, my C.D.P. family stood by me through it all. I was showered with love, prayers and all the support I needed. Plans were made for me to travel to Nigeria for Tina’s funeral and while in Nigeria, my C.D.P. sisters continued praying and offering mass intentions for me. Since my return, they are still with me through this journey of continuous recovery.

It will be three months this week since Tina passed. How providential that my dear friends, the Poor Clares organized a simple prayer service in honor of late Tina and her deceased son Simon Jude. I am grateful to the Poor Clares for their thoughtfulness, prayer/prayer card, delicious brunch following the Eucharistic celebration, take away bread and wonderful companionship. Their love is God’s way and continues reassurance to me that all is well. All is well because Christ has bequeathed his tidings of joy to us the baptized. It is well because his spirit empowers us to accept his gifts of life with a simultaneous willing disposition to let him have it whenever he chooses to take it back. Yes, I will continue to accept life’s challenges with optimism, openness and courage. But most importantly, I bless God for helping me recognize him at work through the gift of religious life, my C.D.P community, and my amazing friends, the Poor Clares. You are amazing!!!

She was Called Tina

It was a cold windy day in March three decades ago when your first cry was heard. I was particularly happy with your birth because you completed the quorum for us, or so I concluded in my naivety. At the age of ten, I was not particularly happy that I had four brothers and one less sister to have  perfect number. So I always prayed for one, you and you came.  Imagine my joy when that happened.  You came as happy, and bobby as you were expected. I would later jeer at Bonny (whom you have now joined in glory) because we both wrangled over the issue for a long time.

Like all new born Eyi, you looked small, frail and precious at birth and I wanted to carry you all day. But unlike most New born, I remember that father was not there to welcome you into the family, like he did the rest of us. Nor was he ever there at any point of your life because daddy was killed two days before you were born. Like you name suggests “Eyiuche,” we did expect what came to be. Because of the sad circumstances surrounding your birth, we were always protective of you, especially Mama. We were always there for you, always made sure you got what you needed and always supported you in everything that will enhance your well-being.  As Providence will have it, our efforts paid off. You grew, blossomed and became a rare combination of brain, beauty and bubble. Like the rays of a glorious morning, your illuminated our entire family with your contagious radiance. Yes, you definitely reciprocated the love showered upon per excellence. Your endearing personality distinguished you in the family which if why you are our special treasure of inestimable value. As an enthusiast, you lived a creative life colored with fun and determination. Most importantly, you followed in the footstep of Daddy, gave your life to God and served him as best as you know how. Your close relationship with God was expressed in the many lay organizations you belonged from you teen years until your recent demise. Always eager for personal growth and advancement, you successfully completed high school and college at an early age. We taught you were crazy when you declared your intention to get married soon after. Looking back, I am happy we let you follow your path, your short destiny.

Nine years ago Tina you were joined in Holy matrimony with your heartthrob Engr. P.J. Anya. Your union was blessed with three adorable children: Meme, Ben and Mezie. Then the Lord’s face shone upon you and your family again and you conceived. We were eagerly waiting to receive the news that you have been delivered of your fourth child. But alas, our hopes were dashed, nightfall came quickly and our glee was turned to grieve. The cold hands of death snatched you away, leaving us helpless, gaping and wondering still.

Eyi, I continue to commend you into the hands of God, your creator and upon whom you have returned.  I know that I will never see you or hear your melodious laughter again. Do you know that everybody in the family is still talking about you? About our joyful personality? About the way you look out for everybody and your carefree spirit? Yes, these are some of things we will continue to hold dear, memories that will be cherished forever. I know you live on Eyi because those who die in the Lord have only changed places. I thank God for you and the gift that you were for our family. Thank you for the legacy you left behind. I will always love you.

Fare thee well my love, my irreplaceable “ash” born

Fare thee well my most beautiful little Angel

Fare thee well Tina until we meet again to rejoice in never ending Joy

Upholding the Legacy of Religious Life

This is St Peter in Chains Cathedral Cincinnati. Yesterday 125 religious men and women from different Congregations gathered to celebrate the end of the Year of Consecrated life in the greater Cincinnati area. I was drumming away in the background and rejoicing in the gift of consecrated life in the world. I drum for our mothers and fathers past whose faith and fervent courage has helped to preserve this most wonderful way of life to this day. I drum for all of us who are still on this unfolding journey, holding still and daily overcoming the challenges of our times. I drum for the future of religious life, whatever that may be and for all those who will be part of that new dawn. Finally I drum for you reading this bolg because in your own way, you are extending God's kingdom. When you touch the lives of others in a positive way, you are contributing in making the world a better place. Keep it up!