Divine Nudging

"There is within us a fundamental dis-ease, an unquenchable fire that renders us incapable, in this life, of ever coming to full peace. This desire lies at the center of our lives, in the marrow of our bones, and in the deep recesses of the soul. At the heart of all great literature, poetry, art, philosophy, psychology, and religion lies the naming and analyzing of this desire. Spirituality is, ultimately, about what we do with that desire. What we do with our longings, both in terms of handling the pain and the hope they bring us, that is our spirituality Augustine says: ‘You have made us for yourself, Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.’ Spirituality is about what we do with our unrest.”   ― Ronald Rolheiser

I  returned from Sunday mass this morning in high spirits. Where I live is next door to Holy Cross Parish, but for some reason, I have not been going there for Sunday masses. In the past ten months, I may have only attended mass at Holy Cross on on 3 occasions. And the only reason I can think about at the moment is because of my preference for early masses. I like going for early masses so that I can have the rest of day to do personal stuffs. But today I decided to go to Holy Cross, I returned with a deep sense of fulfillment.

Three Fridays ago it was announced at morning mass that grade school children will form a choir, to sing at the 10:30 a.m. mass. As soon as I heard that, I felt a strong urge to volunteer to be part of that. But by the end of the mass, I changed my mind. I told myself that my presence will not make much of a difference, and that others are available to do it. But the desire to volunteer refused to dissipate. So last week I decided to make more inquiries. I got the phone number of the choir director, and offered my help. He told me that he will be happy with whatever assistance I am willing to offer. So at mass this morning, I offered the gift of my voice, my ability to harmonize songs and my gift of playing the tambourine. Surprisingly, it seemed to make a little difference in the songs, people seemed to like it. At least three parishioners came to hug and thank me for the flavour my gifts added to the liturgy. The real highlight however, came from a particular parishioner who I will call "mr. Stabbler" to provide his privacy. Mr. Stabbler revealed that although he is also at mass, and can sing, today is the first time in 5 years that he has actually opened the hymnal. What Mr. Stabbler said brough chills all over my body. He praised the choir director for using the right pitch, acknowledged our blended voices and said he was elated with the music. That proclamation of faith made my day and I encouraged Mr. Stebbler to join the choir. He said he would think about it.  

The more I reflect on this, the more I am convinced that it is God himself who has led me into this unique encounter with him. Our shared faith experience of him at mass today lifted our hearts to praise and worship in a deeper way tby singing well, and a little differently. It has also helped me to realize that not only can a single person make a significant difference, but that we have all been given whatever gifts we have for the benefit of others. Yes, it is possible to enter into a more concrete experience of God through the ordinary things of life such as singing and playing tambourine. I pray that we will continue to remain open to the Spirit of God who continues to draw us into new and exciting encounter with him.